New Purpose, New... Direction

Totally stolen from Glee with that title, but in today's world, everything's both cliche and original anyway; the title's purpose is to serve as an indicator of once again, the revamping of this blog and my irrationally renewed hope for a sustainable, cyber-based log of my interests and thoughts.

Maybe because I'm now 19 and legal to drink in Canada, some miraculous change will overcome me as I go to bed tonight and I'll know how to be persistent when I wake up, or maybe wake up a la Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30 and be blessed with a cushy job, a sweet wardrobe and fabulous hair.

Image via http://adwor.blogdrive.com/

(I haven't actually seen that movie, but based on my sister's (and mother's) ravings, what little I know about Jennifer Garner, and the movie screenshot pasted in above, I think it's reasonable to say my predictions of a ridiculous vision are accurate).

This last year, in short, has been... enlightening.  The knowledge that I have no study skills has been repeatedly reinforced, that I'm a passive eater has been heavily emphasized, and my predilections towards staring at shiny entrancing objects when I should be reading or doing homework or sleeping have carried me to where I am now--narcoleptic, caffeine-driven, sporadically-eating, TV-obsessed, news-oriented and a shoe-whore clothes horse online-shopping lurker.

My goal for the next year, then? To accomplish... let's say, three things a day, accomplish encompassing some basic obligations, such as:

• Not skipping eating when I'd rather stay curled up in bed, or...
• Doing all my reading and homework for the next day
• Doing some significant research for my internship
• Not sleeping paying attention in class
• Writing a blog post (3+/week is the class minimum)
• Sending out e-mails when I'm supposed to (a biggie)

My parents would probably like to add 'calling them everyday' to the list of things I should do everyday, although it's always... well, been a pain to talk to them on the phone. It seems to run in the family (skipping over me, of course) that my mother, my father, my sister and grandparents and aunties and uncles and cousins MUST shout into the phone, because the person on the other end (me, of course) has hearing problems.

Or, if you're like my dad... well, the typical phone conversation goes like this:

爸爸：哦，你为什么没给我打电话？ 我就是想跟你说话,听你的声音! ='(
Me: I called three hours ago and you said that you were driving and couldn't talk.
爸爸：那时儿我在忙!
妈妈：(对爸爸) 今天是她的生日!
爸爸: 哦?! O___O

Give this guy a yellow cast and a little paunchier around the middle and you have my dad. Image via Getty Images

Loosely Directly translated, here's what happened; for greatest comedic effect (and most accurate representation), have a small child play the father role:

Father: (petulantly) Hey, why haven't you caaaaalllled me? I just wanna taaaalk to yoou, hear the sound of your voice...!! ='(
Me: I called three hours ago & you said that you were driving & couldn't talk.
Father: (protestingly) But that's because I was busy!!
Mother: (in the background, to my father) Dude, it's her birthday today. Get off the phone; give it baaack to me.
Father: Wait... what?! Seriously? O_____O

So, Dad, thanks for the birthday wishes and for your genes; whatever I forget in the future, I'll always have hereditary amnesia.

Sue Sylvester, Dance on Air

My apologies for the lack of updates; school is revving up to the final stages, and I am writing currently to avoid studying. Today's focus:

You betcha. This lady is indubitably one of the driving forces behind Glee, the hit musical-comedy television show on Fox that if you don't know about, you're clearly very, very behind on what's current in pop culture; played by Jane Lynch, Sue Sylvester, cheerleading coach extraordinaire, leading citizen, Madonna fan and blackmail expert is the driving force behind many of the evils that befall the students of an Ohio high school glee club as part of her mission to stay top dog. She is unabashedly rude, racist, elicit, terrifying, egotistical... you get the point. She's ballsy, she's out there, she's the biggest, baddest, best bitch of them all--and still very much three-dimensional. Even in the most seemingly-insensitive of speeches, there's a wit that makes you laugh and adore her:

Sue Sylvester is an extremely endearing character, however, whenever she's around her Down-syndrome-affected younger sister, and in this last week's revealing 'The Power of Madonna' episode, you learn why she always rags on Will Schuester for "[having] enough product in your hair to season a wok." Earlier in the season, her brief crush on a local newscaster also brought forth a softer side that hopefully, we'll see again in the future. Jane Lynch really pulls forth the perfect combination of outrageousness and believability in crafting her character, which is why Sue Sylvester has so quickly become a pop culture staple.

Sue claims to be... 29, but whatever her age, she can really pull off a tracksuit--she knows that any kind of full-length sportswear in velour is just fugly, and you can check out a gallery of best outfits @EW. Or read some of my favorite lines:

• If I have a pregnant girl doing a handspring into a double layout, the judges aren't going to be admiring her impeccable form, they're going to be wondering if the centrifugal force is going to make the baby's head start crowning.
• I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling.
• I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror.
• I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one.
• I don't trust a man with curly hair I can't help but picture little birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and it disgusts me.
• GLEE CLUB! Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I’ve sacrificed everything only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens!

• I’ve always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness. Me, never wanted kids. Don’t have the time, don’t have the uterus.
• When you hear your name called, cross over to my side of this black shiny thing. Santana, Wheels, Gay Kid. C’mon, move it! Asian, Other Asian, Aretha, andShaft. See, Will, I don’t want to participate in a group that ignores the needs of minority students.

My personal favorite line from 'Glee'? Brittany's, "Did you know that dolphins are really just gay sharks?" Your favorite lines? Why you love Sue?